I Plead the 5th....

Okay, so once again, it has been a LONG while since I have posted to this site. I was in limbo for a while, not knowing if I wanted to compete this year, or ever again. I sort of had a lot of feelings going on....not knowing if competing was for me, not feeling motivated, and the desire to have another baby was there, nagging me to death as well. I know I sort of went through a "funk", for lack of a better word. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do...lots of praying and soul searching. I hated what was happening to me (feeling down, getting out of shape), but I lacked motivation and just felt down.

Without going into a lot of gory details, I will cut to the chase. I found out over the winter that I have PCOS, or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. You can google it for yourself, but just as a somewhat *brief* description, my ovaries produce too much testosterone, which makes all my other hormones out of whack. I don't ovulate normally because of the cysts that cover my ovaries, so it makes it hard to get pregnant. I also tend to have a hard time losing weight (good Lord, I wish I'd known this a LONG time ago, as dieting for shows was always so darn frustrating), and I am carb sensitive. I could go on, but I won't....

So here I am...I am pleading the 5th as to whether I am competing this year (since I know having a baby is going to be hard for me). There are 2 national qualifier shows coming up here in this area, so the opportunity is there. I am avoiding confirming whether I am diving off into diet land for several reasons, the main one of which is that I feel like I am over-scrutinized when I am dieting by folks at my gym. Too many cooks in the kitchen. The only chef I need in my kitchen right now is...well there are 2 of them....My trainer Michele Ralabate and my husband Jeff. I am dieting and training and feel like my head is in the game more than I have ever felt in the past. It is a good feeling to be "myself" again. So, as I have said in the past...to be continued...